“Take a deep Breath Gina, everything
is going to be okay.” This is what I would tell myself over and
over again but didn’t quit understand it. It was the year 2013 when
I found out I was pregnant with my 3^rd baby girl
“Annabelle.” Six months into my pregnancy Annabelle went to be
with Jesus. She was a still birth and has left an imprint on our
hearts forever. As her story continues to unfold, I have experienced
some great pain, but through that pain I have also discovered some of
the most beautiful moments that I never knew could be so beautiful. I
have been going back and forth with where to begin with sharing her
story and now that I’m finally sitting down to write I am finding
out that this is not an easy step to take.

A year ago on February 15, 2014 I was
sitting in a hospital room holding Annabelle memorizing every square
inch of her and now, I’m sitting on my couch typing on a computer
and dreaming about her life in Heaven. To be honest I didn’t know
what to expect as I was approaching this one year mark. I didn’t
think I was going to be ready for it at all but when I think about
it, I was never ready for any of this. “Take a deep breath,
everything is going to be okay” is what I would tell myself but I
didn’t know how it was going to be okay. In one moment I stood
breathless. I thought more about breathing than ever. I would take a
deep breath in and for the first time ever I was thinking about how I
didn’t want to let that breath out because I felt like every time I
let a breath out that meant time was moving and I wanted time to
stand still. It was as though I didn’t even know my right hand from
my left or I didn’t know if I was turning a light on or off. They
all seemed the same to me. Life was at a stand still and I didn’t
want it to move. I wasn’t thinking in a normal state of mind but
then I thought “what is normal again?” “Will there ever be a
normal? I was afraid of time. It’s crazy to think it has already
been a year. I remember every little detail like it was yesterday and
I hope those memories never go away. A friend of ours said to my
husband and I, “you will never go back to what used to be normal
but you will learn how to embrace a new normal” and that is exactly
what we have done. Our new normal has been embracing this new life
for us.
Our perspective on life has changed and we’ve noticed what
we do with our time is more precious than ever. We cherish every
second but, we are not always good at it. Life seems to get in the
way every now and than but when we as a family “on purpose”
choose to make the best of our time, that’s when we can be present
in the now, embrace the beauty that is right in front of us, and
cherish the time we have. I didn’t even realize I embraced this
concept until we celebrated Annabelle’s one year. Oh goodness, I
can’t wait to share this part of our story with you.


My hope is that through this blog there
will be healing from any hurt or pain you have gone through, there
will be strength to get up and say “today is worth living for”,
there will be freedom in enjoying life to the absolute fullest, there
will be a boldness in you that will rise up and say “it is time for
the dreams that I have only dreamed about to now become a reality”,
there will be restoration in relationships, you will discover the
“Real You” and embrace your true inner beauty so that you know
that you have a purpose that will not only change your life but the
lives around you. Join me for my next blog as I continue to unravel
Annabelle’s story, but first I would love to introduce my family to
you.